my quarter-life crisis

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Okay so here's the deal...  I've spent the last week taking a break from blogging to regroup && reorganize.  Not only did this apply to my house but it applied to my life.  I've needed some "me" time to reflect && make some important decisions for myself.  I'm feeling much better now that I have some of this worked out.  Let's talk about it...

||1} POHS: My eye health is a constant stress to me.  Having Presumed Ocular Histoplasmosis is not only frightening [due to the loss of vision], it puts a major strain on me financially for treatments.  I have lots of doctor appointments && due to the nature of the syndrome and treatment, I have to have someone drive me to and from the appointments.  I HATE having to rely on people.  I'm an independent person, and it really bothers me to have to ask people for help.  I've completely lost central vision in my right eye, and my left eye is getting blind spots && acting up.  I have to really focus and work hard to protect my eyes.  

||2} Home: You guys since I've started dedicating so much time and effort into my blog, my household duties have been ignored.  I LOVE getting on the computer first thing in morning, reading other blogs, promoting my post for the day, work on more posts, etc etc etc... I've been working SO hard on this blog, that some days I sit in front of the computer for 12hrs.  I've let it completely consume me.  I love my blog, I love writing, and I love being a part of the blogging community.  I will never ever let that go.  I've just had to rework and prioritize a schedule for myself.  This way I don't let myself totally lose an entire day staring at a computer screen [which probably isn't good for my eye health either].

||3} Weight: I'm overweight.  The end.  I'm not going to make excuses for myself or tell you my life story.  I'm just going to tell you that when my mom died, I started packing on the pounds.  I turn 32 [omg thirty two...] next month && my weight and overall health has been weighing heavily my mind.  So far, for being overweight I've been lucky.  No diabetes, no high blood pressure, no high cholesterol... everything is good.  Which is also hella impressive since I was a smoker.  I think it's high time that I get healthy and in shape BEFORE something does end up going south.  I've got enough problems with my eyes, I don't need to add any other health issues to it.  It's time to make some changes && get myself into the gym that I already pay for every month, ahah.

||4} Health: Several years ago I saw a doctor about some stomach issues I was having.  We did some dietary testing and I found that I'm intolerant to red meat, gluten, and dairy.  I was seriously deficient in B12 and malnourished.  I was tested for Celiac Disease but in the end ruled it out.  I was PISSED that the doctor decided I had a gluten intolerance.  Seriously.  There is soooo much bandwagon Gluten-Free people that it feels like a "fad" instead of an actual issue.  Sometimes it's hard to remember that people have an actual problem with gluten, unlike the people that just say they do cause they think it's the cool thing right now.  I don't get it.  I LOVE bread.  Whyyy would you choose to be gluten free if you don't have to be?  That's insane.  
I rigorously watched what I ate for about 6 months.  Paying attention to keeping my gluten intake low to non-existent, not eating red meat, and pretending to keep dairy to a minimum [I love cheese].  Then one day I just kinda stopped.  Got lazy && quit caring.  Well last week I grabbed Subway on my way to work.  I ate it that evening at work, and felt absolutely miserable.  Mind you, I always feel miserable after I eat but something about this particular night was worse.  I decided right then and there, that it's time to cut out the foods that I'm intolerant to because I'm tired of feeling like this.

So as you can see, I did a lot of reflecting on my vacay from blogging.  It was incredibly necessary, and I'm ready to implement changes.  I'm quite sure that you will see these topics arise throughout my journey.  
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  1. I have to agree with you that I am super skeptical about 'gluten-free' diagnosis. Yes, it is a real true condition for some people, but I agree that it is totally 'trendy' to do it as a lifestyle right now, and I also agree that it's insane to choose that!!

    1. I have a resentment towards people that fake their gluten intolerance. I love food with gluten and was straight up depressed with my diagnosis. It's NOT fun to have a dietary restriction.

  2. I can relate to #2. I used to wake up and get on my computer and read blogs, comment, tweet and I'd be reading blogs all day long...commenting on them all and then working on my posts and replying to my comments... gosh, I literally would spend the ENTIRE day just on blog stuff. I wasn't getting any work done so I finally (took long enough!) came up with a schedule where I work on my digital art FIRST in the morning and throughout the day and then after 5pm I will work on my blog stuff. It has really helped, I get so much art done now!!



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